Talk

It's 2:30 in the morning and i am lying face up in my bedroom when father comes up and asks me to shift over to other side of the bed, which i can't do because i am too hammered from the party before. So much so that i can't even ask for a glass of water when i feel like a 2 day old Mexican desert wanderer. Then energy comes with great effort and i do as requested; suddenly my eyes open and i see a curtain, 'hey these are not the ones at my house'. 'Oh, because i am at my friends apartment and all this was a dream'.
However some part of it was true as i really am hammered from the birthday party couple of hours ago and dying of thirst.
One weird part was that i was not able to do so as father requested because of 'sleep paralysis' and not the whisky. This is weirder so because 'sleep paralysis' happens to me only when i know i am sleeping and suddenly wake up minus the ability to move my body.
Anyhow, i drink some water and try getting back to sleep; something pops up as if i was thinking about it in my sleep. It's about first impressions and truth, the reality.

First impression is the last impression
I have always thought about 'first impression is the last impression'. Maybe because i am always curious about my first impression on the people i meet. But when i come to think about it, i always find myself pondering over first impression of the people i met and the impression i have of them after the last time i met them. End result is conclusion-less and not confusion, like trying to solve a 4 variable equation with tomato ketchup. This is not as bad as it may sound because i can still eat the maggie with ketchup which tastes fine to me. Example: I had sometimes seen a guy with friends of acquaintances at college and thought 'man this guy is shy, dumb and not so subtle'. Maintaining this impression from the very little information i got i ended up being surprised when i found myself in the middle of a discussion when the same guy was unloading about IInd WW, vaccination, wall street, publishing frauds, card games, medieval politics and what not. The impression began to change - seems more sophisticated with all the subtle details of his speech, definitely not a shy person and certainly doesn't seem dumb now.
Next year, we are at a party with other friends and after 2-3 rounds we all shoot pointless arrows of thoughts and ideas. That guy starts talking about books, Stalin and poetry in movies. He has read and seen so many of them. As he talks and arguments continue i realize that he takes everything he reads or sees, everything, so fucking seriously that it is depressing. I say may be my first impression was right.

Can i conclude that first impressions are indeed the last impressions. Are we so accurate at it? May be - Point 1. Point 2- We are so biased and limited that ultimately our own elements will overpower us to see someone else as what we want to see. We are so helpless that even after knowing and spending so much time with that person, so overt things will overpower us to see the person the same way we saw her the first time. Limited beings as human beings.

Point 3 - First impression is not the last impression because 'i feel so totally different about her from the time of my first meeting'. So impressions change and Point 2 seems pointless. Sounds good until someone says that last impression has not come yet!

Does that make sense Walter and what was all that shit about 'nam?

It's 3:40 in the morning and time to wake up from the dream.